It really would be good to spend more time thinking about yourself, said no spiritual person ever. Because spiritual people know it is always way better to think about others. Occupation with the self only ever leads to one thing—being selfish. Right? It all depends on how we go about it.

It really would be good to spend more time thinking about yourself, said no spiritual person ever. Because spiritual people know it is always way better to think about others. Occupation with the self only ever leads to one thing—selfishness. Right?

Of course, it all depends on how we go about such things. In fact, if our mind continually runs in unproductive channels of self-pity or constant complaining, brooding about how life seems to be passing us by, we need to take a closer look at ourselves before we’re ready to think about others. We need to turn in a new direction—namely, a productive one.

Then again, it may be good to get outside ourselves and think of others for a change. After all, doing something for others that causes us to forget our own worries for a while is a win-win. So then helping others and helping ourselves may not need to be mutually exclusive.

Where we get into trouble is when our occupation with others is more like being all up in other peoples’ business in the wrong way—constantly thinking about what others are up to, criticizing and judging them as we please.

No, thinking of others is not proof that we are spiritual. Likewise, thinking of ourselves is no certain sign that we are selfish. It all depends on how we go about it.

Listen and learn more.

Finding Gold, Chapter 1: Occupation with Self

Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #33 Occupation with Self – Right and Wrong Faith

So many of us are sincere in our desire for spiritual development. But our faith is not whole. There’s this little smidge of doubt that says: “Is this really true? Am I not just making all this up?” What do we do with this?

Job one is never going to be: push that aside. Such avoidance is done with the very best of intentions. We just don’t want to have these doubts. We hope that if we ignore them, they will go away. This whole idea that we can stuff things into our unconscious to make them go away is the genesis of most of the hurt in our lives. So no, not a good plan.

But we’re worried. If these doubts keep surfacing and hanging around, they will steer us off the road. We are going to fail in our spiritual endeavors, whatever they might be.

The root of our trouble here is all-or-nothing thinking. We are not aware that the doubting part is just that—a part. There is a greater whole and it is full of contradictory currents. So fear not, there is another part that does believe. Sure, it might be the size of a mustard seed. But that part does have faith.

The way out is by owning all our parts. The sooner we can let the negative parts have a place at the table, the better it will be for us. This keeps those immature parts from sitting off in the corner—because let’s face it, like it or not, they are in the room—and picking fights with their sisters. But it takes courage to acknowledge the parts we don’t like to own.

Listen and learn more.

Finding Gold, Chapter 2: Right and Wrong Faith

Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #33 Occupation with Self – Right and Wrong Faith

Under the weight of our emotional baggage, many of us are carrying around opinions that aren’t actually ours. For sure, these might be valid opinions, but if they aren’t our own, arrived at through our own mature thought processes, it is more harmful than holding a wrong opinion that we came to in an honest way. Surprising, huh?

Sure enough, it turns out that an honest mistake trumps an opinion arrived at through weak reasoning and lack of courage. Let’s face facts: we’re fallible humans and we make mistakes. Full stop. But that doesn’t address the reason we spout opinions not of our own making.

One possible reason: we’re a lazy bunch. If it’s not really our problem, we think it’s not important enough to make the effort of thinking independently. You know, just for the sake of truth. So we’ll grab someone else’s opinion, try it on for size, and if it fits well enough—sold. We somehow think this is preferable to holding no opinion.

Another reason: we feel inferior. In that case, we are so certain that others know better than we do, we’ll rely on them for forming our opinions for us. Weird thing is, the more opinions we hold that aren’t our own, the more we secretly hate ourselves. The more we despise ourselves, the greater our apparent need to let someone else think for us. Around and around we go. We need to have the guts to step off this merry-go-round.

When we do formulate our own view of things, we may find our ideas differ from others. And when we have the courage to live up to them, paying the price of possibly swimming against popular opinion, we automatically find a whole new pool of self-respect. And that sets us free. On the other hand, if we come to the same opinion we held before, but now we really own it, the courage it took to break free from the yoke of weakness we were wearing will have the same positive effect.

Listen and learn more.

Finding Gold, Chapter 3: The Importance of Forming Independent Opinions

Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #51 Importance of Forming Independent Opinions