PREVIEW:
It's a challenging time to be a kid and a challenging time to be a parent, and it's even more challenging to parent a child when there is conflict and discord in the parenting relationship.
In this episode of the SKYlights Podcast, Senior Clinical Therapist Kirsten Bolt, MED, LMFT helps us understand the effects of parent conflict on kids, provides tangible tips for families navigating co-parenting, and outlines what Open Sky can do to help both parents and children communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.
GUEST PROFILE:
KIRSTEN BOLT, MED, LMFT
Kirsten Bolt is a Senior Clinical Therapist at Open Sky. Passionate about working with adolescent girls, Kirsten emphasizes emotional regulation, assertive communication, identity development, vulnerability, and healthy relationships in her treatment approach. She incorporates humor and playfulness into all she does and quickly develops strong therapeutic relationships with her students and families.
As a family therapist, Kirsten is skilled in clarifying complicated systemic issues and helping formulate a concrete diagnostic assessment. She is supportive of parents who might need extra coaching due to anxiety, grief, and other personal struggles. With her firm and direct approach, Kirsten confronts presenting issues and holds students and families accountable to their therapeutic work, while circumventing the shame that can interfere with progress.
TOPICS COVERED: Conflict, Co-Parenting, Discord In Relationship, Divorce Parenting, Parenting
00:00 Intro
02:09 Challenges faced by parents experiencing discord with a child in treatment
05:03 Healthy conflict
07:10 The effects of parent conflict on kids
11:10 What can parents work on to support themselves and their child?
14:40 The impacts of progress on a child in treatment
17:00 When the other parent is not yet ready
20:04 Other tips for parents
SELECT QUOTES:
“It's a hard time to be a kid, and it's a hard time to be a parent, and it's even harder to be parenting a child when there's conflict and discord in the parenting relationship.”
“And it's normal to have conflict in a relationship. Relationships need conflict to break through topics that are challenging.”
“My experience is we're all doing our best at any given time, and we get flooded and we have hurts and we have pains in the past, and it sometimes trumps our ability to be the best versions of ourselves. When the stress increases, our ability to be our best selves decreases…and what so often happens is the kids feel that stress.”
“There is absolutely truth in trying to focus on your child and trying to remember that your child is half you and half their other parent. And when we talk negatively about the other parent, kids inherently hear that as talking negatively about themselves.”
“It’s going to help you be the best parent that you can, which most of us want to be.”
“Seeing the healing that can come from strengthening those bonds where they had been so broken is just truly remarkable and inspiring.”