Today I will be interviewing Dr. Debi Silber, founder of PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation).We will talk about the pain of being betrayed and will help us understand and learn how to come out of it as a better person Creating a New Tomorrow for ourselves.=======================Ari Gronich0:05Welcome back to another episode of creating a new tomorrow. I am your host Ari Gronich. And today I have with me Dr. Debbie Silber. She is the founder of the post betrayal transformation Institute and is holistic psychologist, a health mindset and personal development expert and the author of number one best-selling book, “The unshakable woman four steps to rebuilding your body”. Dr. Debi, let me just ask you to talk to the audience. Tell them a little bit about your background and why post betrayal? That seems to be an odd thing to niche in. So..Debi Silber0:42Yeah, I don't. I don't think anybody says, Oh, I think I want to study betrayal. No, it's actually my 30th year in business. And as life would morph and change, so would so with the business. And I was in health and mindset and personal development, and then trauma. And I had my first betrayal from my family, and I thought I did the work to heal. And a few months when a few months, few years later, actually it was my husband, and anybody who's been through it. You're blindsided. You're shocked. You're devastated. You know, life as you've known it is no longer. So got him out of the house. And I thought about I said, Okay, well what similar to these two experiences. And I realized I never really took my own needs seriously, it was about everybody else, boundaries were getting crossed. I was like, something's got to change. And that's me. So four kids, six dogs, and a thriving business. I was 50. I'm like, that's it. Going back for a PhD. I didn't even know where that idea came from. I didn't know how I was going to pay for it, how I was going to do it. But it was in transpersonal, psychology, the psychology of transformation, human potential. And while I was there, I did a study, I studied betrayal, what holds us back what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally. When the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive. That study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health, my business, my family, my life.Ari Gronich2:07Very cool. So betrayal. Let me ask you a question. All of what you kind of said was betrayal from others? And then you talk about working on you. Right? So the biggest question is the betrayal that we give to ourselves? So can you talk a little bit about that?Debi Silber2:35Sure. Self-betrayal is huge. And there's such a link between self-betrayal and betrayal. You know, self-betrayal is when you know, something isn't in your best interest and you do it anyway. You know, something doesn't serve and you do it anyway, you know, you shouldn't do something, feel something, keep going back for something and you keep doing it. So we're betraying ourselves, you know, it's not in our best interest yet. We keep doing it. So that's self-betrayal.Ari Gronich3:02Okay, so how does that extend into others betraying us? Because what I've found, at least in my experience is, the harder I treat myself, the harder I get treated by others, right, so it directly correlates to, I'm expecting, at this point people to betray me. And so I'm going to invite that in so to speak, versus No, when I have to have a barrier between myself in that or boundary.Debi Silber3:33Yeah, uh, you know, if we write the script for how people treat us, but there were so many things in what you said, like what one thing is, if you expect it, for sure, that's what you know, that's what you'll have. And that's why we see so like, I can spot an unhealed betrayal from a mile away. And one way is when there's a repeat betrayal, because here's this opportunity for us to learn something really profound, not that we're causing the betrayal, but there's a real opportunity here and until and unless we do we will keep getting opportunities in the form of people to teach us this, you know, maybe the bound you know, the rule is that where the lesson is, I need better boundaries in place. I am lovable, worthy, deserving, whatever it is, and you know, it's time to get that lesson so it doesn't have to keep repeating itself.Ari Gronich4:22Just so in the context of how we create a new tomorrow and activate our vision for a better world. You know, what do you say is like the number one, number two, number three things for people to do, so that they can understand this and begin creating a new tomorrow today for themselves?Debi Silber4:45Yeah, well, I mean, the first thing is, like I live real simply have a very simple rule. If it's going to hurt someone, don't do it. Mostly shocked and amazed that other people just don't follow those same rules. So it's really simple. It's like if you want to make a Better Tomorrow, do right by people, you know, lead...
