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Not everything is an anxiety disorder, but people pleasing and low self-esteem feed into it constantly. This week we talk about why the two overlap so heavily, and why learning to desensitize almost always requires putting yourself first, which can feel like the least safe thing in the world if pleasing people is how you've kept yourself safe.

We get into what people pleasing actually looks like, from constant scanning of other people's moods to guilt as a baseline feeling, why it's usually a learned response rather than a personality trait, and why exposure work doesn't work without some baseline self-acceptance. We also talk about why the values underneath people pleasing, kindness, cooperation, and community, aren't the problem. It's when they become the only way you're allowed to exist.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including six flights taken through a lifelong fear of flying.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

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Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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This week we go through the most common mistakes people make while trying to recover from anxiety disorders, the ones that feel intuitive in the moment but end up keeping the cycle going.

We cover minimizing your own wins, thinking a place or situation is the actual exposure instead of the feeling underneath it, overestimating anxiety's importance while underestimating your own ability to handle it, and treating a thought that feels true as if it is true. We also talk about why trying to prevent the bad thing from happening during exposure defeats the purpose, why crediting safety behaviors instead of yourself keeps you stuck, and why arguing with anxious thoughts or trying to think your way out of anxiety almost never works.

Plus Did It Anyway wins from Canada, Sweden, and Turkey, including one that involves scuba diving.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

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Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

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Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

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Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Is distraction the same thing as running from your feelings? This week we answer a listener question about where that line actually is, and why the answer isn't as simple as always sit with it.

We talk about why attention plays such a big role in anxiety disorders, why getting caught up in your life is not automatically avoidance, and why the real question isn't am I distracting myself but what am I actually running from. We also get into why every emotion, not just anxiety, deserves room, and why treating fear as the only feeling that matters can quietly shut down curiosity about everything else you feel.

Plus Did It Anyway wins, including a tattoo appointment survived and a listener who fell asleep during a 90 minute MRI.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Anxiety recovery attracts an entire industry, and not all of it is safe. This week we talk about popular but dangerous anxiety cures, the methods and trends that get recommended constantly but that our community says actually made things worse.

We cover the trauma narrative that convinces people their panic and OCD are rooted in trauma stored in the body, nervous system regulation and vagus nerve claims built on debunked science, tapping and EFT marketed as evidence based when it isn't, coaching programs that blame you when their method fails, and wellness grifts like parasite cleanses and heavy metal detoxes. We also talk about why well meaning therapists and coaches can cause real harm even when they believe they're helping.

Plus Did It Anyway wins from Sydney and Saudi Arabia.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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This is our anxiety latest questions and answers episode, where we go straight to the community and tackle real listener questions about panic disorder, OCD, GAD, and health anxiety.

We get into what to do when anxiety symptoms show up all day without fitting a specific diagnosis, why worrying about something you live with, like an aging house, does not count as exposure on its own, and how to tell the difference between doing real exposure work and quietly avoiding it. We also cover what to do when your own therapist contradicts what you hear on this podcast, and why food avoidance driven by fear, including emetophobia, usually needs a different approach than logic and willpower.

Plus several Did It Anyway wins from the community, including a three hour movie and a three night trip taken despite dread and derealization.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Anxiety always seems to have a strategy for you, doesn't it?

• Check it, prepare for it, watch it closely so nothing bad happens
• Stay on top of things so you can be the fixer, the predictor, the protector, the engineer of experiences
• Do not take your eyes off the worry because worry is proof of how good you are and how loving you are.

This week we're picking that strategy apart and showing why it almost never holds up.

We're talking about:

• The nocebo effect and why anticipating symptoms can create them
• Why anxiety takes credit for bad things not happening even when the worry and avoidance did nothing
• Why so many strategies anxiety hands you, from monitoring intrusive thoughts to rehearsing what you'll say to a stranger, are solving a problem that was never actually there to begin with

We also get into why restarting exercise after a period of anxiety can bring on new physical stress, and what that means.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Everyone tells you to release tension. But if you live with panic disorder, OCD, or health anxiety, that advice can backfire fast. This week we're digging into why chasing relaxation as a goal often makes tension worse, and what actually helps instead.

We're talking about why physical tension is a normal response to stress and fear, not a problem to fix. Why techniques like jaw stretches, massage, and meditation can turn into more monitoring and checking. And why sometimes the fastest way through tension is to stop trying to manage how you feel and put your attention somewhere else entirely.

Plus listener Did It Anyway stories from Florida, Estonia, and Germany, because sometimes the only way through is to just do the thing anyway.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

----

The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.

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Anxiety has a favorite move. It doesn't argue that acceptance and exposure don't work. It just convinces you they don't apply to you specifically. This thought, this sensation, this situation, is the one exception to every rule you already understand.

This week we break down what fuels that exception: possibility, intensity, and importance, plus the urgency that makes an unlikely outcome feel like it's already happening. A 1 in 5,000 chance means nothing until anxiety puts your name on it. The same pattern shows up everywhere: the one OCD ritual someone insists they can't skip, the health scare that supposedly voids all the usual rules, the flight or the dentist visit where the real fear isn't the obvious one but some elaborate scenario your brain built from nothing.

We also get into the meta version of this:

• I've had it longer than anyone
• I have more going on than anyone else
• no one is as scared as I am.

It's the same doubt wearing a different story, and it isn't true. You don't want to be special here.

Plus listener wins from the community: a woman who pushed through agoraphobia and fresh grief to make it to her grandmother's funeral, and another who felt a wave of panic build in a crowded arcade and chose to stay instead of running.

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Want to talk about this episode, interact with us, and communicate with others that are sharing your experience? We're hanging out in the Disordered Community Space

https://disordered.fm/community

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The Disordered Guide to Health Anxiety is available now:

⁠https://www.disordered.fm/the-disordered-guide-to-health-anxiety/⁠

---

Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew.

-----

Got questions or did it anyways to share? ⁠Send us an email or voicemail on our website⁠.

https://disordered.fm

---

Disclaimer: Disordered is not therapy or a replacement for therapy. Listening to Disordered does not create a therapeutic relationship between you and the hosts or guests of the podcast. Information here is provided for psychoeducational purposes. As always, please consult your mental health and/or medical care providers. If you are having a mental health crisis, always reach out immediately for in-person help.