In this episode of The Rule of St. Benedict for Daily Life, Kris McGregor turns to St. Bernard of Clairvaux’s On Loving God as a natural deepening of the path already laid by the Holy Rule. Through prayer, humility, obedience, and restraint, St. Benedict has been helping to form the heart. Now St. Bernard helps clarify what that formation is meant to open within us: a deeper love of God.

St. Bernard begins with a simple but decisive truth. We do not love God only because of what He gives. We love Him because of who He is. While the spiritual life often begins in need, in our desire for help, clarity, consolation, or strength, it does not end there. As the heart continues to turn toward God in prayer, love matures. Prayer becomes more than a place of petition. It becomes a place of communion, where the heart learns to remain with God and to rest more fully in Him.

This teaching fits deeply within the Benedictine way. The Holy Rule has already been clearing away what keeps the heart restless and divided. St. Bernard now shows that all of this formation is ordered toward love. Humility clears the way. Discipline steadies the heart. Prayer opens it. And Christ reveals the full measure of this love in His complete self-gift to the Father. This episode invites listeners to consider how their own prayer is changing, and whether their love for God is becoming less anxious, less measured, and more rooted in God Himself.

St. Bernard of Clairvaux, On Loving God, Chapter 1 §1

“The cause of loving God is God himself;
and the measure of that love is to love without measure.”

Causa diligendi Deum Deus est; modus autem sine modo diligere.

“We love, because he first loved us.”

1. Do I tend to turn to God mostly when I need help, clarity or consolation?
2. How has my prayer changed over time? Has it become more a place of communion as well as petition?
3. In what ways have prayer, humility, obedience and restraint been helping to prepare my heart for a deeper love of God?
4. Do I find myself resting in God Himself, or mostly in the gifts and answers I hope to receive from Him?
5. How does Christ’s complete self-gift help me understand what it means to love God more freely and more fully?

Copyright © 2026 Kris McGregor. All rights reserved. No portion of this content may be reproduced, distributed, published, or transmitted in any form, including audio, print, or digital media, without prior written permission from Discerning Hearts®.

Mike Aquilina and Kris McGregor discuss how the Church Fathers presented marriage and family life as sacred gifts in sharp contrast to pagan Rome, where women were often treated as property, children could be discarded, and marriage was frequently marked by exploitation, instability, and distrust. This shows Christianity as bringing a radically different vision: husband and wife bound in lifelong fidelity, open to life, marked by mutual self-giving, and rooted in the love of Christ for the Church.

Early Christian teaching elevated the dignity of women, protected children, and transformed the meaning of sexuality by locating it within marriage and procreation rather than domination or pleasure alone. Drawing on figures like Tertullian and St. John Chrysostom, he portrays Christian marriage as joyful, holy, and even mystical, a living image of the Trinity and of Christ’s union with the Church.

1. How does the contrast between pagan Roman culture and early Christian teaching deepen my understanding of the dignity of marriage and family life?
2. In what ways do I recognize the influence of Christian teaching on the value of women and children in today’s world?
3. How can I better live out self-giving love in my relationships, reflecting Christ’s love for the Church?
4. What attitudes toward sexuality have I absorbed from culture that may conflict with the Christian vision?
5. How does viewing marriage as a sacred, lifelong covenant challenge or strengthen my perspective on commitment?
6. In what ways can I contribute to building a home marked by trust, fidelity, and joy?
7. How does the idea of the family as a “domestic church” shape my responsibilities within my household?
8. What can I learn from the courage of early Christians who lived their faith in a hostile culture?
9. How might I witness to the beauty of Christian marriage through my words or actions?
10. What steps can I take to grow in appreciation for the gift of life and openness to God’s plan within family life?

This highly readable introduction to the roots of many Catholic beliefs and practices provides a sense of connection to our brothers and sisters who have gone before us and who helped shape the faith. Mike Aquilina makes it clear that as far as the essentials are concerned, a time-travel trip back to the beginning of the Church would reveal a Church familiar to Catholics today. Just as an acorn grows into a tree and yet remains the same plant, so the Catholic Church is a living organism that has grown from the faith of the earliest Christians into the Body of Christ we know today.

Mike Aquilina is a popular author working in the area of Church history, especially patristics, the study of the early Church Fathers.[1] He is the executive vice-president and trustee of the St. Paul Center for Biblical Theology, a Roman Catholic research center based in Steubenville, Ohio. He is a contributing editor of Angelus (magazine) and general editor of the Reclaiming Catholic History Series from Ave Maria Press. He is the author or editor of more than fifty books, including The Fathers of the Church (2006); The Mass of the Early Christians (2007); Living the Mysteries (2003); and What Catholics Believe(1999). He has hosted eleven television series on the Eternal Word Television Network and is a frequent guest commentator on Catholic radio.

Day 3: Mary, Comforter of the Afflicted

Mary was troubled at these words, wondering what this greeting could mean. (Luke I:29)

Let us pray:

With the help of our Mother of the Word Incarnate, grant us Your mercy and consolation to lighten the burden and give comfort and strength to all who are suffering now. Dear Lord, we ask Your Blessed Mother to teach us to be compassionate. Help Your children, with the power of the Holy Spirit, to conquer the menace of evil and sin in all its manifestations. Through the intercession of the Our Lady of the Annunciation, we ask You to help us welcome the Word into the world, that we may all experience a rebirth. Through Mary, Your reign has dawned, a reign of compassion and mercy, born from the depths of the Word made flesh.

Jesus, for our salvation You willingly humbled Yourself, becoming Man in the womb of the Virgin Mother, grant me through the mystery of Your holy Incarnation the virtue of humility that I may ever please God as Your Mother did, by meekness and lowliness in this world, and be exalted by You in eternity.

Mary, dear Mother of my Savior, I greet you and I thank you for having received the message of the Archangel Gabriel: “Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with thee” (Luke I:28) and for having answered with your consent, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38) Intercede for me that God the Father, who accepted you as His Daughter and the Mother of His Son because of your humility at the Annunciation, may accept me as His humble child. Amen

In this episode of The Rule of St. Benedict for Daily Life, Kris McGregor reflects on Chapter 20 of the Holy Rule, where St. Benedict teaches about personal prayer. After forming the heart through obedience, humility and the rhythm of liturgical life, St. Benedict turns to the way a person approaches God in prayer. He teaches that humility, reverence and attention matter more than many words.

St. Benedict draws on a simple human experience. When we approach someone in authority, we become more careful in how we speak. In the same way, prayer requires an awareness of before whom we stand. This reverence is not fear but a steady recognition of God’s presence. It leads to prayer that is sincere, attentive and free from unnecessary words. The heart learns that prayer is not about explaining everything perfectly, but about turning honestly toward God.

This teaching flows from the earlier chapters of the Rule, where the Divine Office and the psalms shape the soul in a rhythm of prayer. Over time, this forms a heart that is less rushed and more attentive. St. Benedict invites us to pause, to become aware of God’s presence and to let prayer arise from humility rather than anxiety. In this way, even brief prayer becomes deep and real. Following Christ, who taught His disciples to pray with simplicity and trust, this chapter reveals that the most faithful prayer is one offered with a humble and attentive heart.

Benedict of Nursia, The Rule of Saint Benedict, Chapter 20 (RB 1980)

Whenever we want to ask some favor of a powerful person, we do it humbly and respectfully, for fear of presumption. How much more important, then, to lay our petitions before the Lord God of all things with the utmost humility and sincere devotion. We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words. Prayer should therefore be short and pure, unless perhaps it is prolonged under the inspiration of divine grace. In community, however, prayer should always be brief; and when the superior gives the signal, all should rise together.”

Si, cum hominibus potentibus volumus aliqua suggerere, non praesumimus nisi cum humilitate et reverentia,quanto magis Domino Deo universorum cum omni humilitate et puritatis devotione supplicandum est. Et non in multiloquio, sed in puritate cordis et compunctione lacrimarum nos exaudiri sciamus. Et ideo brevis debet esse et pura oratio, nisi forte ex affectu inspirationis divinae gratiae protendatur. In conventu tamen omnino brevietur oratio, et facto signo a priore omnes pariter surgant.

“And in praying do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard for their many words.”

1. Do I take time to become aware of God’s presence before I begin to pray?

2. Do I feel the need to fill prayer with many words instead of resting in quiet attention?

3. How does humility shape the way I approach God in prayer?

4. In what ways can I grow in reverence and simplicity in my daily prayer?

5. What might it look like for my prayer to become more attentive and less hurried?

Copyright © 2026 Kris McGregor. All rights reserved. No portion of this content may be reproduced, distributed, published, or transmitted in any form, including audio, print, or digital media, without prior written permission from Discerning Hearts®.