Dads With Daughters

By: Dr. Christopher Lewis of Fathering Together
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  • Summary

  • Dads with Daughters strives to create a supportive online community that highlights promising practices for fathers to better understand themselves and their daughters while encouraging and helping fathers be active participants in their daughters lives raising them to be strong independent women.
    2024
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Children's Audiobooks Parenting & Families Personal Success Relationships
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Episodes
  • Balancing Public Life and Fatherhood with Councilman Kevin Riley

    Balancing Public Life and Fatherhood with Councilman Kevin Riley
    Nov 18 2024
    Fatherhood is a journey laden with challenges, triumphs, and a multitude of rewarding experiences. For some, it means rewriting the scripts handed down by previous generations and breaking stereotypes. Kevin Riley, a father of three, a Bronx councilman, author, and one of the founding members of "The Dad Gang," epitomizes this transformative journey. In this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, Kevin Riley shared his unique story, shedding light on his mission to redefine Black fatherhood and support other fathers in similar pursuits. The Crucial First Steps: Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt Fear as a Driving Force When Kevin Riley found out he was going to be a father to his first daughter, Brooke, fear struck him. Having grown up without a father, he was acutely aware of what he lacked in terms of role models and guidance. Reflecting on those initial fears, Riley shared, "I was scared but also excited because it was a journey I could pour so much value into." His primary concern was whether he was parenting the right way. Riley's transparency about his fears dismantles the myth of the all-knowing father. It is okay to be scared, okay to doubt — what matters is the desire to overcome these fears and become the best dad possible. Balancing Responsibilities: The Art of Time Management Striking a Balance in a Busy Life Being a councilman often pulls Kevin Riley in different directions, demanding a delicate balance between public responsibilities and family life. "I bring my children everywhere," Riley explains. From community events to City Hall hearings, his children are often by his side, learning the ropes of civic engagement early on. This unique approach serves dual purposes: it provides valuable bonding time and exposes his children to the concept of public service. Riley’s method underscores the importance of integrating children into various aspects of life, making them active participants in their father’s world. Empowering Daughters: The Challenge and the Reward Breaking Gender Norms Kevin Riley emphasized the importance of empowering his daughters to pursue any career they desire, irrespective of societal expectations. He makes it a point to connect his daughters with powerful female leaders to illustrate that they can achieve the same heights as their male counterparts. "In a male-dominated society, you have to find creative ways to empower your daughters," Riley says. The lesson here is that fatherhood extends beyond basic caregiving; it’s about paving the way for your children to see themselves as capable and equal contributors to society. Sharing the Journey: "Hop Into Life" From Personal Experience to Published Author Riley's book, "Hopping Through Life," co-authored with his children, is a heartfelt narrative aimed at demystifying the complexities of fatherhood. The inspiration stemmed from his own experiences and his nightly ritual of reading to his kids. "Be proud of the journey you've been through because it created the person you are today," Riley advises. The book serves as a beacon for other fathers, particularly those who may have grown up without a father figure. It’s a testament to overcoming obstacles and embracing the messy, yet beautiful, journey of parenting. Community Building: The Dad Gang Changing Stereotypes, One Dad at a Time One of the most impactful initiatives Kevin Riley has been involved with is "The Dad Gang." Founded by Sean Williams, this organization was borne out of a single comment that stereotyped Black fathers. "We created this community online, but we really wanted to go deeper," Riley explains. The Dad Gang hosts events like the "March of Dads," which feature public walks and community activities aimed at showcasing the active involvement of Black fathers. The group also organizes healing circles and interactive forums that provide emotional support and amplify the narratives of Black fatherhood. Final Words: The All-Important Advice Make Time, Always As Kevin Riley beautifully puts it, "There's no amount of money that you can earn within your lifetime that would amount to the time you could spend with your children." For dads feeling overwhelmed or questioning their readiness due to financial constraints, Riley offers the essential advice to prioritize time with their children over everything else. His advocacy for this critical aspect of fatherhood is both inspiring and actionable. Through his roles as a councilman, author, and community leader, Kevin Riley is not just rewriting his own narrative — he’s providing a new script for Black fatherhood, challenging stereotypes, and inspiring fathers everywhere to be the best they can be. His story serves as a powerful reminder that fatherhood, above all, is a journey of love, patience, and unwavering commitment. TRANSCRIPT (Unedited transcript created with CASTMAGIC) Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]: Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you ...
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    25 mins
  • Building Resilience and Confidence in Kids: Kevin Baker's Approach to Parenting

    Building Resilience and Confidence in Kids: Kevin Baker's Approach to Parenting
    Nov 11 2024
    On this week's Dads with Daughters podcast, we spoke with Kevin Baker, a certified life coach and father of three. Known affectionately as "Coach Kevin," he offers unique insights into parenting through his personal and professional experiences. This episode delved into various aspects of fatherhood, particularly focusing on raising resilient daughters amidst challenges. Whether you're a new dad or a seasoned parent, the lessons and strategies discussed provide valuable takeaways for all. The Initial Joy and Unexpected Challenges The Joy of Fatherhood Kevin Baker's journey into fatherhood was initially marked by joy and excitement—emotions that many of us can relate to. Upon learning that he would be having a daughter, his initial thoughts mirrored those of countless new dads: excitement quickly followed by planning. From due dates to potential weather conditions, Kevin and his wife wanted to be prepared for every scenario. Navigating Health Challenges However, their plans changed dramatically when their daughter was diagnosed with Tetralogy of Fallot, a congenital heart condition. This unexpected news threw Kevin and his wife into a whirlwind of medical appointments and surgeries. Through three open-heart surgeries, they learned an invaluable lesson about the unpredictability of life: planning is essential, but flexibility and emotional resilience are paramount. Facing Parenthood Fears Head-On Common Fears Like many fathers, Kevin faced immense fears, particularly concerning his daughter's future independence given her medical challenges. His fear extended into other areas, such as her social and emotional well-being. These fears initially overshadowed his joy but evolved over time. Kevin’s story is a testament to the fact that all parents, regardless of their child’s health, share common anxieties about their child’s future. Overcoming Fear Kevin emphasized the importance of addressing these fears constructively. He learned to channel his anxiety into positive, actionable steps. "Letting go of expectations," he said, allowed him to focus on being present, loving, and patient. This mindset not only alleviated his fears but also enabled his daughter to thrive despite her challenges. Reprogramming the Parental and Child Scripts Resetting as Parents Resetting parental expectations begins with a broad perspective on life. Kevin and his wife realized that life’s journey is long and unpredictable. They practiced zooming out to see the bigger picture, understanding that daily worries shouldn't overshadow long-term happiness and success. This perspective shift provided them with emotional stability and resilience, enabling them to navigate their daughter's health issues with greater ease. Empowering Their Daughter For their daughter, reprogramming her mindset involved instilling tools for self-empowerment. Kevin shared how they focused on open communication, consistent encouragement, and helping her develop critical life skills. A significant part of this was educating her about the reality of social media, debunking the myths of perfection that it often portrays. They reinforced her self-worth and capabilities, allowing her to combat negative thoughts effectively. Coaching Tweens and Teens: A Broader Perspective Understanding Teen Angst Working with teens and tweens, both professionally and as a father, has given Kevin unique insights into the adolescent mind. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the thoughts and feelings that teens experience daily. Many teens struggle with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and a lack of direction, often exacerbated by societal pressures. Strategies for Parents Kevin’s primary advice for parents is to focus on connection and communication. Instead of pressing for immediate answers, he advises listening attentively—considering both words and body language—before responding thoughtfully. He acknowledges that parents might not always be the best confidants for their teens, suggesting the involvement of other trusted adults, like extended family members or professional coaches. Resources and Final Thoughts Kevin's experiences and advice emphasize the importance of patience, understanding, and clear communication in parenting. One resource he recommends is Tara Brach’s book, "Radical Acceptance," which advises parents to pause and breathe before reacting. This practice empowers both parent and child to make better decisions. Closing Insights To summarize, Kevin Baker’s journey offers invaluable lessons for all parents. His emphasis on patience, flexibility, and emotional resilience can guide us all in raising strong, independent children. Resources like "Radical Acceptance" and coaching can also provide valuable support as we navigate the challenges of parenthood. For those looking to explore more about Kevin’s perspectives or seek personalized guidance, he is available through his website, lifecoachkevin.com, and various social media channels. ...
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    26 mins
  • Raising Girls: Efrem Martin’s Story of Love and Dedication

    Raising Girls: Efrem Martin’s Story of Love and Dedication
    Nov 4 2024
    This week on the Dads with Daughters podcast, we had the pleasure of sitting down with Efrem Martin, a dedicated father of four daughters and a passionate advocate for intentional fatherhood. In this engaging discussion, Efrem shared his personal journey, the unique challenges he faced, and his inspiration behind writing his book, "Daddy's Girl's: A Father's How-to in Building Lifelong Relationships with our Daughter's," and starting the Girl Dad YouTube channel. Here are some profound insights from their conversation. The Beginning of Efrem Martin's Fatherhood Journey One of the key moments in Efrem's life was discovering that he would become a father to a daughter for the first time. Reflecting on that time, Efrem admitted to feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement. As a young man of 23 and a Marine transitioning into civilian life, he was embarking on a monumental chapter in his life. Despite some initial fears, Efrem expressed a unique perspective: he always wanted daughters because he believed they would make him a better man. He credited his upbringing, particularly being raised by a nurturing mother in a single-parent household after the tragic loss of his father, with preparing him for this role. He drew strength and inspiration from his mother’s unwavering support and the exemplary male figures—his uncles, cousins, and coaches—who stepped in to mentor him. Overcoming Adversity and Becoming a Role Model Efrem's father was murdered when Efrem was only two years old, fundamentally shaping his upbringing. Though he grew up without a father, Efrem found guidance in other male role models, like his coaches, who treated him like their own son. These experiences instilled in him the importance of having strong, positive male influences and reinforced his commitment to being an involved and supportive dad. Having worked for 20 years in the criminal justice system and 10 years in K-12 education, Efrem witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of the criminal justice system on children and families. This professional backdrop fueled his determination to ensure his daughters stayed out of the system and thrived in a safe, nurturing environment. Efrem Martin's Philosophy: Raising Free Thinkers Efrem's approach to fatherhood extends beyond mere presence; it is about fostering independence and critical thinking in his daughters. He emphasized the importance of raising his girls to be free thinkers rather than focusing solely on independence. By encouraging them to challenge the world around them and question everything, Efrem prepared his daughters to navigate life with self-awareness and confidence. This philosophy is encapsulated in his self-published book, "Daddy's Girls," where he outlines the stages of development from birth to adulthood. Additionally, his Grow Dat YouTube channel serves as a platform to further elaborate on these concepts, providing fathers with data-driven insights, visual aids, and practical guidance on raising daughters. The Grow Dat YouTube Channel: Fostering a Community of Learning Launched in July 2023, Efrem's Grow Dat YouTube channel is a treasure trove of wisdom and support for fathers. With over 55 livestreams covering diverse topics, Efrem draws from his extensive experience and professional background to offer valuable content. His goal is not to amass a large following but to attract the right audience—fathers genuinely seeking to improve their parenting skills. Unlike other platforms, Efrem’s channel delves into deeper, more complex issues of fatherhood, leveraging his knowledge in criminal justice and education to provide context and solutions. His dedication to building this community organically reflects his commitment to authenticity and meaningful engagement. Looking Ahead: A Vision for Greater Engagement Efrem has ambitious plans for the future of Grow Dat. Starting in 2025, he aims to transform the channel into a more interactive space, featuring one-on-one engagements with fathers. He believes that real-time conversations and shared experiences can enrich the learning process for everyone involved. By fostering a supportive network of dads, Efrem hopes to create a space where fathers can share their struggles, triumphs, and insights in raising daughters. Conclusion: Consistency as the Cornerstone Towards the end of the podcast, Efrem shared his core advice for fathers: be consistent. Consistency, he believes, is the foundation of effective parenting. It provides daughters with a sense of security, allowing them to grow into confident, independent, and thoughtful individuals. Efrem Martin’s journey and insights remind us that fatherhood is a profound and ongoing adventure. Through his book, his YouTube channel, and his unwavering dedication, Efrem continues to inspire fathers to embrace their roles with commitment, compassion, and a desire for continuous growth. For more about Efrem Martin, his book "Daddy's Girls," and the Grow Dat YouTube ...
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    23 mins

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