Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't

By: Tony Santore
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  • Summary

  • A show about plants as viewed through the lens of evolution and ecology with a side of neurotic ranting, crass humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.

    Plant ecology, systematics, taxonomy, floral chemistry, biogeography and more.

    Joey Santore was a degenerate railroader for 15 years during which he taught himself Botany by reading textbooks and research papers in the cab of the locomotive while stealing time from work. He has traveled to 11 different countries studying plant communities. He is the host of the YouTube channel Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't and the host of the show Kill Your Lawn on EarthX TV.
    Copyright Tony Santore
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Earth Sciences Nature & Ecology Science
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Episodes
  • Could Peyote Be An Endangered Species One Day?

    Could Peyote Be An Endangered Species One Day?
    Mar 7 2025
    Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Podcast are available on the patreon at :
    https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

    In this episode we talk with Leo Mercado of Morningstar Conservancy, an Arizona-based peyote conservation and propagation organization formed by members of the Native American Church concerned with the increasingly diminishing wild popuations of Peyote, a cactus species native to South Texas and Northern Mexico. We talk about the dwindling supplies of the plant available to members of the Native American Church (NAC) due to human threats to peyote's existence in Texas such as land clearance, feral pigs, invasive grasses (like buffel grass) and habitat loss.

    We also explore why some members of the NAC want to keep peyote illegal as a means of "protecting" the species from use by outsiders. A well-intentioned stance that may actually further imperil wild populations of this plant due to the extent in which it makes propagation and habitat restoration, and salvaging peyote plants from land clearance for things like solar fields or the border wall impossible, even by those individuals that are Native American and permitted to use peyote in religious ceremony.


    To learn more about the Sacramental Sponsorship Program or Morningstar Conservancy,
    visit www.morningstarconservancy.org

    Sacramental Sponsorship Program (only available to NAC members with tribal cards : https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Py8_vn9dHh7hGaZRKdwrsdXAtkfw0uGF/view?usp=drive_link
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    1 hr and 56 mins
  • Chicago Museums, Welwitschia Diorama, Public Urination

    Chicago Museums, Welwitschia Diorama, Public Urination
    Mar 5 2025
    Rants about museums in Chicago, the hall of botany at the field museum, drop-in sinks, Euglossine bees, the genus Gnetum, getting the cops called on you at Chicago Botanical Gardens, the library at said institution, and more.

    Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available for Ad-Free listening on the Patreon.
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    1 hr and 51 mins
  • New Plant Discovered in West Texas, Neotropical Palms, & Panama Hats

    New Plant Discovered in West Texas, Neotropical Palms, & Panama Hats
    Feb 26 2025
    Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at : https://www.patreon.com/c/CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt

    Rants about the New Asteraceae species discovered at Big Bend National Park, Ovicula biradiata, as well as an exploration of a few species of Neotropical Palms, potential musical choices for waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay and Divine Retribution against America in the form of audible torture, vandalizing crepe myrtles and Bradford Pears, and a thirty minute exposé on Beetle Pollination in the Panama Hat Family, Cyclanthaceae.
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    2 hrs and 7 mins

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