"He paused. 'You paying attention?'

'Uh, yes, sir! Yes, yes, I am,' I said quickly. I had been staring at the Star.

'I’m kidding, Ty. I thought your eyes might pop out of your head,' He chuckled, 'I had the same look the first time I came here. It’s a special place.' He looked out wistfully over the expanse. Relighting his cigar, he took a few puffs.

'You said you liked Patromir, so let me tell you about one of his fights. I watched it while sitting right here. Patromir versus Lavonai. House Hime versus House Jaqua...'"

###

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

"And with that, the guards stepped aside and let me pass. The suns were high enough now to cast a large shadow under the gateway, and I was temporarily blinded by darkness before emerging on the other side.

I was not at all prepared for what I saw.

My mule whinnied and side stepped as we entered the light. I put my forearm across my face to shield my eyes, confused by what looked like church bells above me. I reined in Harry—I’d given him that name the day before—and we stopped. No bell tolls. All I heard was the traveler behind me.

'Get out of the way, kid!'

I was frozen. It took me a few seconds to realize what was swinging 10 feet over my head—bodies. I’d totally forgotten about the Gallows Greeters..."

***

The map of the FTZ Inner City, as best remembered by Tyrolean Larkspur: cockpunch.com/scrolls

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.

The FTZ. Oh, the FTZ, The FTZ. It rolls off the tongue with a touch of hope, aspiration, and trepidation.

The Free Trade Zone is where all things mix. It is here, in the center of the realm, that races mingle, merchants trade, musicians entertain, and fighters vie for the championship belt.

To describe the FTZ is one thing, but to experience it is quite another. The best account I’ve found is a famous diary entry from a young lad named Tyrolean...

***

The Legend of COCKPUNCH™ is the tale of a fantastical realm, a universe of the bizarre from the mind of bestselling author Tim Ferriss. Stories are the gateway drug in this Emergent Long Fiction (ELF) project. Characters, maps, artwork, and more will be released over time at cockpunch.com and tim.blog/cockpunch. For other oddities from the world of Varlata, follow @cockpunch and @tferriss on Twitter.