https://www.alainguillot.com/the-price-of-living-your-own-life-is-letting-go-of-others-approval/

Society expects us to follow a predetermined social script, but that script doesn’t work for everyone. If you want a different life, you will face resistance from your family, friends, coworkers, and strangers.

When I came to Canada, I hoped to follow the social script as well. I wanted to get a regular 9-to-5 job, get married, and have a house and a dog. But due to racial discrimination, I was never able to get the job I wanted—I found myself locked out of that path. I had to build a life from the leftovers of society. I worked as a freelance janitor, moving from one office building to another. My social script was that of the immigrant Latino, the underprivileged class. Fortunately, I managed to educate myself and built a life that surpassed my expectations.

In North America, the typical expectations for most people are:

• Graduate from high school
• Go to college
• Get a good job
• Climb the corporate ladder
• Get married
• Have kids
• Encourage your kids to do the same

If you want a different life, you have to build it for yourself. The problem is that the more you deviate from the well-trodden path, the less comprehensible your choices become to those around you. The price of living life on your own terms is often the disapproval of others.

To live authentically, you must reject your culture’s expectations of what your life is supposed to look like. The social script dictates how your relationships should progress, how your career should unfold, and how your family should operate. Unfortunately, this script doesn’t work for many people.

Take marriage as an example. Everyone knows that it fails more often than it succeeds, yet people continue to get married. If you tell others you’re not interested in marriage, they’ll criticize you—even if their own marriages are broken and unhappy.

If you choose not to have kids, you might face judgment for not conforming to that expectation.

The same applies to jobs. Most jobs are neither necessary, interesting, nor rewarding. A full-time job is unlikely to make you rich. Financial freedom doesn’t come from employment; it comes from ownership. Yet millions of people continue to work jobs they hate just to afford the cost of living in a city where they work jobs they hate. It’s common knowledge, yet people keep signing up.

If you tell others you want to work for yourself or become an entrepreneur, they may look at you as if you’re irresponsible—even if they themselves are counting the days to retirement.

When you decide to write your own life script, your choices can make others uncomfortable. Your independence highlights their own fears and compromises. If you refuse to follow the script, you might incite envy, because your courage reflects their cowardliness.

The incomprehensibility of your choices, combined with the insecurities they provoke in others, can lead to hostility, aggression, and even ostracization.

The cost of living your own life is giving up the approval of others.

Even though the social script fails millions of people every day, they remain attached to it because it dictates how their families, friends, and communities have lived. They will struggle to understand your choices, and people rarely approve of what they don’t understand. The more your life deviates from the norm, the lonelier the journey may feel.

Entrepreneurship and self-employment can be especially isolating. Your family and friends may not support you, and that loneliness can pull people back into the social script. Many accept an unfulfilling life in exchange for companionship.

Your family and childhood friends were chosen for you by circumstance. Most friendships are accidental—formed in school, at work, or within shared communities. But how many of those friendships would still exist if you met those people today?

https://www.alainguillot.com/why-more-wealth-isnt-making-us-happier/

The Paradox of Prosperity

I have everything, yet I am not always happy. Sometimes I get lonely because I work at home and I lack social interaction, or sometimes I get jealous of other people who have more money or fame than me.

As a society, we are wealthier than ever before. We have access to more resources, better healthcare, longer lifespans, and technological advancements that make life more convenient. Yet, despite all this progress, we seem to be getting unhappier.

Every year, the General Social Survey (GSS) asks Americans a simple question:

“Taken all together, how would you say things are these days—would you say that you are very happy, pretty happy, or not too happy?”

The responses paint a concerning picture. In 2021, the percentage of people who declared themselves to be very happy dropped below 20%—a steep decline compared to past decades. While surveys aren’t always perfect reflections of reality, the trend is clear: we are growing more unhappy. But why?

Despite our material gains, several factors contribute to our increasing dissatisfaction:

1. Social Media and the Comparison Trap
   Social media constantly bombards us with curated versions of other people’s lives, making it easy to feel inadequate. We compare our everyday realities with the highlight reels of influencers, celebrities, and even our own friends. No matter how much we achieve, it often feels like someone else is doing better, earning more, traveling more, or simply living better.
2. Wealth Flexing and the Illusion of Inequality
   While economic growth has lifted millions out of poverty, it has also widened the wealth gap. Social media magnifies this disparity, making it seem as if “everyone is getting rich—except me.” The visibility of extreme wealth creates unrealistic benchmarks, leaving many feeling left behind even if they are financially stable.
3. The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
   Life today is filled with endless choices—career paths, travel destinations, personal projects, social events. Instead of feeling grateful for what we do experience, we often focus on what we haven’t done. This leads to a constant feeling of inadequacy, as if we are always falling short of life’s potential.
4. The Political Climate and Pessimism
   In the past, political issues felt more distant. Today, social media brings every scandal, injustice, and controversy directly into our feeds. The 24/7 news cycle fuels anxiety, anger, and division, making it harder to remain optimistic about the future.

The research is clear: happiness doesn’t come from external achievements or material possessions. Instead, it’s found in:

• Meaningful Relationships – Strong social connections are the biggest predictor of long-term happiness. Investing in friendships, family, and community provides a sense of belonging and support.
• Purposeful Work – Feeling that our work contributes to something bigger than ourselves, whether through career, volunteering, or passion projects, enhances our well-being.
• Practicing Gratitude – Shifting our focus from what we lack to what we have can transform our mindset. Taking time to appreciate life’s small joys—sunsets, laughter, personal growth—can make a significant difference.

We have more wealth, access, and opportunities than previous generations, yet we’re still searching for happiness. The answer isn’t in more—more money, more status, more possessions. It’s in less: less comparison, less consumerism, less fear of missing out. By focusing on what truly matters, we can reclaim our happiness in an age of abundance.

https://www.alainguillot.com/no-more-trans-athletes-in-womens-sports/