Episodes

  • Biglaw Bonus Season Arrives!

    Biglaw Bonus Season Arrives!
    Nov 13 2024
    The race is on. ----- It's the most wonderful time of the year! Milbank continues to relish its role as the Pied Piper of Biglaw bonuses, once again jumping the traditional late November bonus announcement kickoff to set the bar for 2024 annual bonuses. We also learned that a number of firms make non-equity pay a share of the partnership expenses despite holding no equity. And one partner out there is using work email to complain about the neighbors with offensive terminology.
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    33 mins
  • Sir Sam Alito Decides No Pesky 'Constitution' Governs Him

    Sir Sam Alito Decides No Pesky 'Constitution' Governs Him
    Nov 6 2024
    That Governing Document Can't Stop Me Because I Can't Read! ----- Sammy Alito openly defies the Constitution with European knighthood. Chicago Law tapes classes but isn't interested in letting students actually use those recordings. Students are, unsurprisingly, pissed. Professor Richard Epstein brags about replacing scientists with judges. Yes, the same guy who said COVID would only kill 500 people and got the first Trump administration sold on the idea. And mark your calendars for the lawyer movie from Hallmark's holiday season.
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    33 mins
  • There's No Studying In Here, This Is The Library!

    There's No Studying In Here, This Is The Library!
    Oct 30 2024
    Also, Tiffany may be number 1 in his heart (she's not), but she's also not number 1 in her class. ----- Of all the iconic lines from Dr. Strangelove, maybe the best is "You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" Recently, Harvard began punishing students (and faculty) for silent library protests while studying almost as though maintaining a "non-disruptive atmosphere" isn't the school's real concern. Donald Trump brags about Tiffany Trump's class ranking... even though her law school doesn't rank students. And states are preparing for the Supreme Court to launch a large-scale rollback on rights.
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    33 mins
  • In 2024 The GOP Is A Big Fan Of Teen Pregnancy

    In 2024 The GOP Is A Big Fan Of Teen Pregnancy
    Oct 23 2024
    The republican party of the 1990s must be turning over in its grave because the modern GOP is arguing teen pregnancy is a good thing. Equity partnership in Biglaw is a financial windfall, unless you're in the 10-30% of partners getting a compensation cut. And do you like messy, I mean MESSY, legal drama? The latest from the Texas bankruptcy court romantic scandal is eye popping.
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    31 mins
  • Learning How To Be A Professional

    Learning How To Be A Professional
    Oct 16 2024
    From young attorneys to the Chief Justice, a lot of lawyers are dropping the ball. ----- We've got some young lawyers out there who don't understand the basics of professionalism and it runs a lot deeper than just lacking experience. That said, there are some experienced attorneys falling down on fulfilling a different set of professional obligations. Meanwhile, Chief Justice Roberts is apparently very, very sad that the public didn't appreciate his latest Constitutional rewrite.
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    41 mins
  • Judge Decides To Just Make Up The Rules As She Goes Along

    Judge Decides To Just Make Up The Rules As She Goes Along
    Oct 9 2024
    Why not? ----- Kathryn Mizelle was rated unqualified by the ABA and it shows. The Trump appointee just took it upon herself to rewrite the law despite acknowledging that higher courts have explicitly declined to do so. But she's a very special snowflake apparently. Law school rankings are primed for a major shuffle if we're to believe the available data. And... why do we need a new Matlock?
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    20 mins
  • Eric Adams Must Really Hope Supreme Court Is Serious About Blowing Up Bribery Laws

    Eric Adams Must Really Hope Supreme Court Is Serious About Blowing Up Bribery Laws
    Oct 2 2024
    The majority of the Supreme Court keeps diluting bribery laws and Eric Adams had best hope they aren't done yet. ----- Eric Adams got indicted last week and quickly pulled out the big litigation guns to explain that the Supreme Court already said bribery was cool. Meanwhile, Jonathan Turley rushed to the embattled mayor's defense to explain why ACTUALLY it was way worse that AOC once wore a borrowed dress to a party. Judge Pauline Newman's fight to end the pocket impeachment her colleagues on the Federal Circuit imposed upon her has added even more objective medical evidence that the other judges will continue to pretend they can't understand. And Shohei Ohtani's 50-50 home run ball reminds everyone that free stuff still has taxable value.
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    35 mins
  • Debbie Does The Dormant Commerce Clause

    Debbie Does The Dormant Commerce Clause
    Sep 25 2024
    Why do professors think everyone has to personally experience the facts to understand the law? ----- Hardcore porn shows up in a law school lecture. You know, the rest of us managed to learn the relevant standards for obscenity laws within the context of the First Amendment without visual aides. Also, Diddy's lawyers forgot how track changes works with embarrassing results. And Judge Aileen Cannon doesn't know her Founding Fathers... how a flubbed disclosure form speaks to Originalism's cynical lie.
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    32 mins