out, and frustrated.

After years of working with clients, I’ve seen that this “earn-your-rest” mindset is common but toxic. It’s built into us by society, especially where success is tied to constant productivity. A local in Paris recently pointed out how Americans seem to be always go-go-go, never stopping just to be. They’re absolutely right — that constant pace feeds into this idea that we should only rest after meeting every obligation. But that mindset isn’t just exhausting; it’s harmful to our health.

The stress keeps our nervous systems on high alert. This is why I created REM techniques to help integrate mindset work with physical care. Rest isn’t something to earn; it’s something we need for our bodies and minds to function well.

One way to let go of the “earn it” mindset is by dipping your toe in. Try doing something small to give yourself a break. Maybe skip the dishes one evening and take five minutes for yourself. It doesn’t need to be a huge time commitment, just a small, intentional moment.

Remember, rest doesn’t have to mean lying in bed. For me, just stepping outside, feeling the sun, or breathing fresh air is restful. Rest is what fills you up, brings a smile, and lets you breathe easier.

We can’t serve others if we’re running on empty. Filling your cup first makes you more productive, focused, and energized. So next time you’re faced with that checklist, pause. You don’t need to finish everything to deserve a break. Just five or ten minutes can reset your mind and body, creating a healthier, more balanced life.

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