The theme this month is "Gifts," and honoring what we want and what is best for us. This falls in line with having good boundaries instead of weak ones and choosing ourselves.

For Becky, honoring herself means that when she knows that she should be doing something she tries to follow through on it whether or not others are going to like her choice or not. She is a person who is kind, loving, and supportive of others and to herself.

So instead of trying to put everyone else first and make everyone else happy, which is an impossibility, she tries to do the things that will give her peace and help her become the person that she wants to be. Each day adding to the person she wants to be.

We can choose to honor ourselves in a self-loving versus a self-seeking way. Sometimes when people try to take advantage of those of us who choose ourselves, they will use manipulation or attack us in some way by telling us that when we choose ourselves, we are being selfish, which can create a feeling of guilt for someone who is a people pleaser.

But the truth is that when you act in your own best interest and are doing what is healthy and for you, you're not harming anybody. You're not out to hurt someone when you do this. This still might hurt people who really count on you to meet their own agendas. Your intention is to be peaceful and to be healthy, not to hurt anyone.

In the past, Kristen was a big people pleaser and would feel so guilty about choosing herself that she simply could not do it. And this created resentment toward those whose agenda she always felt she had to follow.

Creating boundaries creates self-worth and self-confidence. When you feel this way, you are not out to hurt anyone. Building up our own self-worth is the key. We can lovingly support other people, but it's really not our job to be carrying anyone else on our own backs.

When you truly love yourself, you can truly offer love to others. Obligatory love tinged with resentment is not real love. self-trust is also a good way to honor yourself. How I want to respond and who I am is the same in all situations instead of morphing into what I think the other person wants to hear.

Honoring your own best interests is also really important as well. As Dr. Phil says, "We teach people how to treat us." You need to tell people what you need and don't assume that they know already. They can't read your mind. It's on us to communicate our needs and we suffer when we expect people to meet our needs and expectations if they can't or don't know what they are.

You may inadvertently inflict pain onto someone else in the short term. You will have less conflict this way. But in the long run, you will suffer more because you will just be bottling up all the anger and resentment and then explode.

When we are in a situation that is not good for us, we always want to believe that it can return to when it was wonderful. It becomes important to recognize that when something is no longer good for you or healthy or working for you and that it is, in fact, bad for you.

We aren't suggesting that you just go out and end your relationship or quit your job if that's not right for you to do. But just pay attention to what is working for you and what isn't.

Just make sure that you communicate what you need and see how it goes and decide form there. Choose you.

Pain can be a great catalyst for growth and if it hurts someone when you stop choosing them and their agenda, it's a great opportunity for them to step up and start doing what was theirs to do all along.

You need to eventually take responsibility for what you have allowed from others. In the long run, if people start doing what they were supposed to be doing for themselves all along--taking care of what is already theirs to take care of--and us staying in our own lane.

If you come up against a brick wall with someone or some situation and it hurts every...