If you’re looking for a workout book that is going to be sweet and kind, then this book isn’t for you!

If you don’t like swearing, this book isn’t for you!

If you are a lazy ass, this book isn’t for you!

If you’re a procrastinator, then this book isn’t for you!

If you are depressed, just go and end your ass because you are sucking the life force out of each person you encounter!

If you’re going to nitpick each and every word and hammer me on spelling and punctuation or rate this book a one, go and f--k yourself! You’re a spineless douchebag hiding behind a keyboard. You think your God’s gift to mankind, and I got news for you - you suck balls!

This book is not that six-minute workout two times a day! That is the stupidest shit I have ever heard of in my life! You must be so f--king out of shape, it’s sickening! You either got this book because it’s your last straw, or it was given to you as a gift for your fat lazy ass! In any event, I’m here talking to you from the grave.

My name is Dimitrion Yordanidis, and I ran a 26-mile marathon at 98 years old; just google it! I did it in seven hours and 33 minutes! Not bad for an old f--ker! While I ran the marathon, I drank three beers and smoked three cigarettes! But I'm not here to talk about me, I'm here to talk about you!

Whether you picked this book out or it was given as a gag gift, I'm going to kick you're ass into shape! This book will work!