Unconditional Parenting
Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
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Unconditional Parenting
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Narrated by:
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Alfie Kohn
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By:
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Alfie Kohn
About this listen
One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.
More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.
©2005 Alfie Kohn (P)2016 TantorWhat listeners say about Unconditional Parenting
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Karlsmum
- 29-05-2019
Amazing and life changing
Really great listen. Love the way Alfie backs up his points with research. Transformational read for parents and caregivers to change the relationships and the way they relate to the children in their lives.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 21-03-2019
Clear and convincing: unconditional love
Helped me see more clearly the meaning and impact of my actions and words on the child. Thank you.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-01-2024
Must read for parents of neurodivergent children.
This book describes a way of being with your children that puts relationship, respect and autonomy together, allowing for true learning through collaboration with, rather than “doing to” kids. It has helped me realign to my values instead of letting schools scare me into their behaviourist approaches that I know don’t work for my neurodivergent son. Alfie’s approach actually builds the skills we want children to learn instead of trying to control and “manage” behaviours where children don’t “learn” anything. Love it. I wish our schools and systems would use this approach and actually engage with kids instead of shaming, controlling and alienating them.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Shae Hunter
- 05-09-2022
Informative, empowering and accessible
The most wonderful paradigm shifting parenting book in publication. Ideally read before you have children but as the author says, it’s never too late. I love that his writing style is both no nonsense and highly evidenced.
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- Anonymous User
- 31-07-2023
The most practical parenting book
This book felt like a call in to reflect on how unideal my parents parented me and also carefully consider how I could easily repeat their actions despite my best efforts to break the generational trauma
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- Dr Jesse J Harvey
- 22-01-2017
every parent should read this
got through this very easily, great book, easy to listen to, changed the way I view my parenting and my parents
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 07-04-2018
Brilliant!Amazing
highly recommend this book. it just makes sense. I tried these techniques and OMG they work.....thank you.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-07-2023
GOATED BOOK
I work in the early education industry so this was beyond helpful. Thanks Alfie a lot
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- Jana
- 17-06-2018
Opened my eyes
Really enjoyed it and took some useful learnings which has improved my relationship with my child.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amanda Green
- 28-08-2021
Wonderful book!
A wonderful book which is well worth the listen for any parent or any professional working with families. This book allowed me to assess my own parenting and think about it from another perspective.
If you are a parent definitely read this!!
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