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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
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Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
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Publisher's Summary
Contains Books 1 and 2 of the Unconventional Heroes series.
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Elf, book 1:
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf - it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
But that's easier said than done. He's a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages.
It's a good thing that he's got some help: an obnoxious 10-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful.
Two Necromancers, an Army of Golems, and a Demon Lord, book 2:
Two necromancers, an army of golems, and a demon lord - it sounds like a recipe for trouble, and for Timmy, it definitely is.
To earn his pardon and avoid horrible torture and/or gruesome execution, Timmy has to complete every mission the Council throws his way, most of which seem to involve extremely scary things trying to kill him. At least he’s got help - sort of. His help consists of an apprentice with designs on his castle (and her plans may or may not involve overthrowing him), a bureaucrat whose two greatest skills are fainting in the face of trouble and using people (usually Timmy) as human shields, and an elf with the world's worst case of pyromania and enough magic to level a mountain.
Somehow, Timmy's got to get this bunch of unconventional heroes to work together. Trouble is coming, and it's trouble of the kind that only a necromancer like Timmy could possibly find himself in the middle of.
What listeners say about Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer
- 18-12-2022
Surprisingly action pack
I was expecting the classical plot of a group of bad individuals struggling to go straight but I never read such a well rounded characters that dealt with the outcult with both seriousness and impractical efficiency, such as the use of magic shovels, a 10 year old girl that rules the shadows or an entire ninja clan of rats 🐀. In short, loved it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- bex
- 13-04-2023
unexpected delight
did not know what to expect but am honestly blown away by this great little story available for free.
I'll be checking out more of the series.
did take a moment to get used to the inner thoughts of other characters being spoken in the same voices the main character and narrator. but such a small thing I stopped noticing a few chapters in.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Fergus Stewart
- 13-02-2024
Good story well told
Great idea for a story very entertaining will have to check out the other books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- John
- 06-07-2020
awesome
where has this talent been hiding? this novel is quirky and humorous and exceptionally well delivered. I hope this series is long running.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 01-10-2020
Absolutely Hilarious.
The main character is an eccentric grand necromancer who likes hitting opponents with a shovel, has a bone dry sense of humour, makes his 10 year old apprentice do his paperwork and file his tax returns and is friends with a protoplasmic eldritch horror who loves cake.
Need I say more.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jess
- 21-09-2021
Best series I've read in a long time
These books are a great mix betwen comedy and action. You can't help but fall in love with all of the characters.The narator is also fantastic.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 30-06-2022
Such a fun take on fantasy
What a rollicking good story. Gives me lots of ideas for dnd campaigns. Highly recommend for some lighter listening
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- The Keyboard
- 07-06-2023
Started strong but...
This book started strong. It was genuinely funny, and with clever writing and interesting characters, really had me hoping for something great. But somewhere along the way the magic just kinda disappeared. It's like all the effort was put into the interesting characters, and not enough was put into the actual story. There was a plotline, sure, but it was just there to support the characters, not lead me on a journey.
You may think differently of this series, especially if you're in the mood for light fluff. But two short stories in, I grew tired of listening. This was a DNF.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dan Prior
- 17-04-2022
Genuinely unexpected out loud laughs .
Absolutely brilliant. Narrator is perfect for this series . Well written a breeze to listen to . It’s fun ! I fully intend on seeing this series through to the end . Great characters that I wish were friends of mine :)
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 11-05-2022
Excellent book would recommend
I really enjoyed this book, good storyline, loved the humour. The narrator was excellent and I am going to purchase the next book in the series.
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