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The Velvet Rage

Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man's World

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The Velvet Rage

By: Alan Downs Ph. D
Narrated by: Alan Downs Ph. D
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About this listen

The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.

Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.

©2005, 2006, 2012 Alan Downs (P)2012 HighBridge Company Gay Studies Gender Studies LGBTQ+ Studies Social Sciences Rage Mental Health Inspiring Substance abuse
All stars
Most relevant
I listened to this because I am trying to be an active and knowledgeable LGBTI+ Ally but what I actually got from this was much more. I gained some insight into hardships gay men face that I don't but I also gained insight into myself. I don't think any person could listen to this and not be struck by how similar our problems are no matter how we identify and honestly I look around me and see so many others struggling with their journey to find their authentic selves. Worth a listen for sure.

Relationships and Passion

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Growing up in the 2000’s without many queer role models was tough.. This book answered so many questions I had about why I am the way I am, and asked tough questions of me that I thought deeply about.
Years later, the world can still be quite homophobic but at least I’m ok enough with being myself and absolutely living as authentically as I can.
More books like this are needed and a wider conversation needs to continue.

Finally, questions answered..

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I found this book to be a helpful roadmap for self actualisation as a gay man. It gave me insights into my own experiences and observations of gay culture and provided me with a sense of hope as well as understanding for how to live my life to the fullest. I have been recommending this book to all of my gay friends!

An incredible read

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What an incredible book, every gay man should read or listen to this at least once. Thank you Dr Alan for your help in giving language to the experiences of gay life.

Inspiring

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If I could give this book 100 stars I would. It is a must read for every gay man, their friends and families. Life changing.

Incredible

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