The Power of Showing Up cover art

The Power of Showing Up

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

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The Power of Showing Up

By: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD
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About this listen

Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now, the best-selling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

"There is parenting magic in this book." (Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of the New York Times best-selling classic Raising Cain)

One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out - in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships - is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as best-selling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:

  • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
  • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions - both positive and negative - and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
  • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
  • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up - when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations - when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this audiobook is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of the Refrigerator Sheet, a summary of the Four S’s to remember in forming secure attachments.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson (P)2020 Random House Audio
Child Psychology Neuroscience & Neuropsychology Parenting & Families Relationships Emotional Intelligence For Kids

Critic Reviews

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have spun a miracle - The Power of Showing Up is the ultimate guide to family reconnection. Clear, profound, and charmingly-illustrated, it unravels the challenges of modern parenting and reveals the simple truths about what children really need from the adults in their lives." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)

"Parenting at this moment in time and at today’s pace feels hard. But that makes it all that much more important that we try to simplify the process of parenting and not put quite so much pressure on our own parenting shoulders. The Power of Showing Up will help you do just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson are master teachers when it comes to helping parents react and respond to kids in ways that communicate 'I hear you.' They articulate and quantify how to make your parenting easier - and better!" (Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness)

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have written their best book yet - and that is saying a lot. They have distilled their parenting wisdom - based on neuroscience research and a deep empathy for children’s needs - into a profound concept: showing up. It is one of those great ideas that seems so obvious - but only after someone has shown it to you and spelled it out clearly. Best of all, Siegel and Payne Bryson 'show up' for the reader of this book. They know parents, know their fears and anxieties, hopes and dreams, and they provide an accessible path to seeing and soothing children and providing them with safety and security." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting)

What listeners say about The Power of Showing Up

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excellent book

excellent book on childhood trauma and how we don't have to pass it onto our own kids.
great tips on how to show up and just be there for your partner and kids

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Understand yourself, your kids and family

An outstanding book that makes the concepts of attachment relationships and human development accessible for all. Not just a book on parenting, it’s an indispensable book for self-knowledge.

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Wonderful read to better understand the foundation of attachment types.

Attachment theory is a solid foundation to build strong relationships with our children. We need to learn to foster better relationships for our children and thereby giving them the tools to do the same with their children. Highly recommended read.

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Another fantastic book

These guys are so helpful and really have a knack for turning complicated science into simple, easy to remember parenting tips. My relationships with both my very different children as well as my partner have improved so much as a result of reading these books (most of Dan and Tina's other books are also in my library). They keep me inspired every day to "show up". Love it!

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You MUST read this if youre a parent!!!

This should be a manual given to every parent!!! I loved this book. I'm going to buy a hard cover just so I can refer back to it.

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The power of showing up is so essential and important

It’s a wonderful book that uncovers a number of blindspots that many of us as parents, future parents would have thought about their existence.

I would recommend to read this book to every parent, especially if parenting is a big challenge for them. It’s a great chance to discover many things about ourselves, first of all, and see how everything is interconnected.


With love&gratitude,
Ganna.

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Read, reread, and plan to reread annually!

A great insight into attachment and very helpful child rearing framework. I’ve read all of their books at least once and would recommend all of them if you want raise your children as best you can.

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Life Changing

After a very successful school life I entered the ‘real’ world and struggled with heightened emotions. I could not understand why they occurred or why they were so intense. Controlling them became harder over the years and hit a peak recently when my two children reached adolescence. Psychologists gave me books on unhelpful thought patterns or on schemas but nothing fit or could easily be applied to me or my family - until I found this book. I am so grateful to the authors for writing it. So simple so relatable and so healing. It gave me hope that I still had time to show up for myself and my children. I thoroughly enjoyed the audio book. I look forward to reading/listening to other books from these authors. I recommend this book to any new parent or anyone who like myself was feeling disconnected.

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Everyone needs to read this

Very valuable work and a must read for all new or seasoned parents. This book validated my my capabilities and values as a mother. I wish I listened a long time ago.

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Best book ever

Everyone needs to read / listen to this book! Dan and Tina cover so much and explain it in such an accessible way.

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