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The Invisible Orientation

An Introduction to Asexuality

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The Invisible Orientation

By: Julie Sondra Decker
Narrated by: Reay Kaplan
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About this listen

What if you weren't sexually attracted to anyone?

A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren't sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation - like gay, straight, or bisexual.

Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that "everyone" wants sex, that "everyone" understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that "everyone" wants to date and mate. But that's where asexual people are left out - they don't find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that's okay.

When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as "asexual". Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.

©2014 Julie Sondra Decker (P)2014 Audible, Inc.
Gay Studies Human Sexuality Love, Dating & Attraction Personal Success Sex Instruction Mental Health

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Excellent Primer

Having been involved in the asexual community since 2005, none of it was new info for me- but this book wasn't written for me. It lays out everything you need to know about asexuality, and it would be great for someone who is coming to realise that they are, as well as people who know an asexual person. It deals with much of the pushback we receive, and explains things in a way that anyone can understand.
I saw another review from someone upset about this book using the word "patriarchy," and I think that says a lot more about them than it does this book.

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Straw men as far as the eye can see

It started strong, detailing things I resonated with. But quickly fell into loop, where the narrator just proposed arguments, insults and erasure. Then meticulously dismantled them.

I'm looking for answers, and a good way to connect with others like me. This is mostly years of arguing on the internet, boiled down to a guide.

Quite a few references to "the patriarchy" casually dropped, which undermines the author's credibility too. That's an irrelevant idea to this book.

I'm grateful to have something at least.

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1 person found this helpful

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