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Suburbia Made Me Do It

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Suburbia Made Me Do It

By: Ashley Fontainne
Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
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About this listen

My name is Roxy Davenport - the epitome of a suburban housewife. For over 25 years, I have based my entire life off the ancient, mental code of ethics passed down from previous generations I secretly nicknamed The Suburbia Handbook.

High school sweethearts must marry and the wife is to stay at home and raise the children while the husband brings home the bacon. All married couples must procreate and raise, at a minimum, two and a half children, preferably staggered in ages by three years. A woman’s job as housewife is to maintain a pleasant, always spotless home for her family. Check. Housewives must service their husband’s needs when the man’s urges overtake him, no matter how tired, sick, in pain, or stressed the wife feels.

For over 20 years, I adhered to the strict rules...until now.

After a series of traumatic events, my life spirals out of control, destroying each and every archaic, foundational rule.

Except Rule Number 11: One must defend their family, no matter what. This rule trumps everything else, even if the defense comes in the form of bodily harm to another.

Or until death do us part.

©2017, 2021 by Ashley Fontainne (P)2021 by Ashley Fontainne
Satire Marriage Comedy

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