Polysecure cover art

Polysecure

Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy

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Polysecure

By: Jessica Fern
Narrated by: Jessica Fern, Eve Rickert, Nora Samaran
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About this listen

Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?

Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.

Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides nonmonogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Jessica Fern (P)2020 Thornapple Press
Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Parenting & Families Sociology

What listeners say about Polysecure

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Definitely worth it! Will be a repeat listen!

Great book with a lot of useful attachment information - even if you are not exploring polyamory, worth listening to! Book provides good relationship advice and things to ponder!
I used 1.3 speed

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Insightful

I have recommended this book multiple times since listening to it. It is not just for polygamous individuals; while it is an essential tool for those in multiple intimate relationships, it is just as poignant for people who date multiple people at once even with a goal for eventual monogamy, people who wish to understand their attachment styles, those who want a broader perspective on the lifestyles of others and anyone who wishes to deepen their relationship with themselves.
I am very glad to have given my time to this book, and foresee it becoming a physical book on my bookshelf. Many thanks to Jessica Fern and collaborators who birthed this into being.

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Brilliant book! 10/10

This is definitely in my favourite top 5 books ever. Everyone should read this, regardless of your preferred relationship structure. It gives such a clear understanding of how attachment theory relates to relationships. Brilliant book! 10/10

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life-changing experience

I'm a 32-year-old man with diagnosed PTSD from their abusive parents as a child. I also suffer from ADHD.

My ADHD brain has always prevented me from being an ideal partner in a monogamous relationship. Polyamory has always been a practice that I have always to try but with no success due to insecurity and jealousy

the work of art that is Polysecure has shifted my entire perspective on my partner, our relationship, monogamy and myself. it has encouraged me to think of myself more and stop trying to find happiness in others.

Previously I tried to find security in the type of relationship I had with someone rather than seeking security in the love that we share.

Polysecure has opened my eyes to the possibility of sustainable and consentual non-monogamy.

Thank you so much for this experience. I will recommend this book.to as many people as I can.

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Useful analysis of attachment theory,

I enjoyed this audiobook because the attachment theory detail was well laid out. Even though the narrative was linked to Polyamory, the attachment theory material is still useful for monogamous people and the wider story is informative.

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Wow.

I picked this book up as my long term partner and I opened our relationship and right now we’re going through the most difficult time we’ve faced, individually and collectively. To have the foundation of attachment theory, intersecting with trauma and how that relates to cnm has expanded my heart and mind. Whatever happens I know the work is about coming home to myself — and loving myself and my partner through it all. Jessica, thank you so much. Love 💛💛💛

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Absolutely wonderful!

A thoroughly researched, thoughtful, compassionate and inspiring book. I've learned so much and have now ordered her HEARTS workbook to dive even deeper! Thank you Jessica 😊

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A book on how to have amazing communication with a partner, whether that be one or more

I’ve been slowly winding through Polysecure / Jessica Fern over the past months, the first part on her extension to attachment theory was great, though it wasn’t till I’ve got near the end and heard her speak on Secure Attachment figures, that it’s really blown my mind open.

It includes having a conversation with someone about whether they want to be one, the ways to assess if someone is available for that irrespective of what they say, and how important clarity in this area is.

As a relatively serial monogamist it’s been hugely insightful to me to realise all the ways I took for granted, and was implicitly and unconsciously checking if I could be securely attached to another, the ways this would manifest in my relationships, and that I wasn't checking with people if they were up for this from day 1.

Amazing stuff, I’d highly recommend the listen, it’s more generally a book on how to have amazing communication with a partner, whether that be one or more.

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Incredible insight

Jessica Fern is the GOAT! Her wisdom and ability to communicate the relationship between attachment styles and open relating is phenomenal. Thank you so much for this text 🙏

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Just amazing! Absolute must if you are considering or find yourself in polyamory.

So insightful and has met me in a place where I really needed to hear what was said! I saw myself in these pages many times and this has given me a language to define what’s happening or happened and why things are sometimes they way they are. I also love how inclusive this is to all relationship styles.
Well done Jessica!! 🤗

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