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Parsnips, Buttered
- Bamboozle and Boycott Modern Life, One Email at a Time
- Narrated by: Joe Lycett
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
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Parsnips, Buttered
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Publisher's Summary
In this book I have attempted to solve each and every one of life's problems. And I have succeeded.
Dear Listener,
Using letters, emails, tweets and telegrams I will show you how the things in your life that make you sad, low or anxious can soon appear trivial, insignificant and like a fish. In short, I will butter your parsnips.
Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.
While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.
I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Listener. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners, jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice* for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished listening to this book you will have learnt how to:
- Reverse a parking fine
- Manipulate the tabloid press
- Navigate social media
- Respond to hate mail
- Out-weird Internet trolls
- Contest a so-called ripe avocado
- Send the perfect Christmas newsletter
- Defeat ISIS
- Take down multinational companies
AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!
Joe Lycett x
* If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, health care or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.
What listeners say about Parsnips, Buttered
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 16-07-2018
loved it
laughed for the whole book. I used all of the tips and tricks :) thanks joe
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Georgina Brown
- 30-07-2021
Very funny
I honestly believe this book must be consumed via audio book. Joe’s reading adds to the comedy.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 12-06-2022
re-reading straight away!!
hilarious, best thing since James Acaster's Classic Scrapes. Second to last chapter is my favourite, though there are many highlights.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Kindle Customer
- 22-01-2020
consider my parsnips buttered
honestly a very easy to book to listen to, good lots tips tricks and just general humour which gets a laugh every time definitely recommend you will be better off for it
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amazon Customer
- 25-04-2021
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT
I don't usually like books ( reading or listening ) but I finished listening to this book three days !!!! Joe lycett is ridiculously funny & this book is excellent . I 100% recommend !!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Emma Deaves
- 17-10-2017
I consider my parsnips buttered
I Lycett a lot. Samantha Peterson is my spirit fox. Joe Lycett is perfection. Cannot recommend enough
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Sindy Sinn
- 12-07-2018
Disgruntling, Irritating and Messy
This audiobook contained little to no information on butter, parsnips nor buttered parsnips. And the further I invested my dwindling time on this earth into this mildly-amusing read, the more it became apparent that Joe had no intention to do so. Whatsmore, at the conclusion of the audiobook, my device exploded with glitter which has made masturbating quite painful.
I hope you're well. Kind regards. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Carlos Ybarra
- 25-05-2018
Joe Lycett the guy who all councils should fear !
Greatly appreciated the mindless and numbness unhelpful nature of this book. Full of useful but useless information to tackle various aspects of life and councils. All which take aweful amount of time.Which Joe Lycett seems to have a lot of ,loved the audio.1
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Margo Cannon
- 06-06-2018
Wonderful!
My only complaint is that this book is only 3 hrs and 43 mins.
Loved it!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Susan Bosley
- 27-01-2018
Hilarious
Hilarious.. Such an entertaining book. Loved it . I hope he writes some more. I would definitely listen to any he records.
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