No More Mr. Nice Guy
A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)
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No More Mr. Nice Guy
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Narrated by:
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Dr Robert Glover
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By:
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Dr Robert Glover
About this listen
“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.” Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.
“I have read every self-help book out there, but this was the first that put everything together in a way that made perfect sense to me.”
“Every page of my copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy is highlighted in yellow. How did you know me so well?
A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.
The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.
The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:
- If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
- If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
- If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.
The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.
Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.
This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:
- Depression
- Social anxiety and shyness
- Codependency
- Low self-esteem
- Loneliness and hopelessness
- Feelings of failure
- Lack of confidence and purpose
- Compulsive behaviors and addictions
- Feeling stuck in life
Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique - his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.
If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.
©2000, 2003 Robert Glover (P)2017 Recorded BooksWhat listeners say about No More Mr. Nice Guy
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Thadeus
- 02-07-2018
Absolute Godsend!
I was one of those guys many years ago, 10 yrs in the same job too scared to start my own business. After listening to this I started training in Muay Thai at age 28. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself. My confidence exploded. Left my job, started my own business, married the girl of my dreams.
Sadly once married I slipped back into Nice guy / AFC / Beta guy tendencies. My business failed, marriage failed and here I am almost 10 years later starting over again.
The takeaway is once you break out, don’t stop doing the stuff recommended in this book that got you out. It’s so easy to slip back in.
Go time!!
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13 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anthony Hawkins
- 13-05-2023
Every man should read, especially if you think you shouldn’t, then it’s 100% the book for you
I think I’ve listened to it 20+ times read the paperback 3 times. It has changed my life and my marriage.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Max
- 23-11-2020
highly recommended
lots of good strategies for nice guys to get out of their own way.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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- Joel Muir
- 14-04-2021
Good just ignore the Psychodynamic Base
A lot of actionable steps with its share of valuable insights. Only off putting thing was the psychodynamic base of blaming ones parents and other outmoded syndromes such as Oedipal Complex.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- jason Coulthard
- 19-04-2019
Maintain listening even in relationship
I recommend listening to this in new or Steady relationship. It’s easy to slip into the nice guy again after listening to thins information.
The principles and truths ,It keeps you a grounded man. A rock.
But you have to check back in with this book once per year or what you feel you can do.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Jernej
- 19-05-2019
I believe this got to a new path of betterment
Most of the books talks about self betterment in a very generic way and doesn't feel like the right choice as it is not catered for different kind of problems people have. This book is for nice guys to help nice guys written by a recovering nice guys!
While this book focuses a lot on sex, the underlying issues are are almost the same for life in general when it comes to Mr. Nice Guy.
I also love how he used several different examples from real people to give you perspective and in some cases to identify yourself and see there is hope!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Ryan Matthewman
- 11-11-2019
Brilliant!
Loved it! So much to learn about what woman want and how they how they want men to show up
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 22-11-2021
Necessary for men with life dissatisfaction or festering resentment
Not all of the traits spoken about in the book will relate to you, however, this book offers practical guidance on the negative consequences of the nice guy syndrome. Would highly recommend this book for men who want to be happier and more confident.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Scott Lawrence
- 07-11-2021
Nice guy repair manual.
I was introduced to this book by a friend of mine who himself is a recovering nice guy. I am a 61 year old divorced man who is an habitual people pleaser. My father was an extremely strict, angry, hard working man who worked two jobs and whom I never had the opportunity to form a good relationship with because he was never really available. If he wasn’t working he was sleeping and we daren’t make a noise to wake him up or we were strapped. The raising of myself and my siblings fell to my sweet, kind, loving mother who had the job of being my fathers wife and looking after us kids. At first I was was extremely sceptical and frankly frightened that I could possibly have a syndrome that was shared by possibly millions of men around the world but after reading this hope giving “Bible for all nice guys” I had a mixture of feelings. Shocked that somebody knew me this well. Relieved that I was understood, actually understood ME …..wow how could this guy know me SO well. Relieved and excited that there was hope for recovery. Embarrassed that I blindly used these faulty paradigms all of my adult life. This has explained why I was groomed and guided to choose the type of woman I married, the lifestyle I chose to support HER needs and not mine, why I didn’t pursue my passions and why I don’t have many REAL male friends. I highly recommend and implore all nice guys to invest in this life changing guide book and regain their masculinity. Thank you, thank you, thank you Dr Glover I am so happy.
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- Joshua
- 08-04-2022
read this book then read it again
helpes me to understand myself and get what I have been searching for
take the plunge
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