I am the narcissist. I have many secrets. Some you will find out about. Some you will not find out about. I will only let you in on the ones that I think will help me to control you and make you obey me unquestioningly. To be in this union, I must command your undying loyalty. Anything less than that will not be acceptable.

If you find out about one of my secrets that you weren’t meant to find out, I will punish you via abuse or silent treatment so that you will learn to stop snooping on me. If you continue to snoop or to call me out to others on my malicious behavior, I will file lawsuits, gag orders, restraining orders and more to get you to shut your mouth. If you keep telling my secrets, I might just kill you. Then, you will be one of my secrets, too.

I will tell the police and the FBI that I wasn’t involved in your convenient death or your murder. I will lie to your family’s face at the funeral. I will lie on the news to the public, faking tears and concern. After all, you deserved it. I won’t face accountability just because you say so. I don’t feel like I owe you or anyone else anything.

In fact, you are the one denying me the fuel that I want. It was your fault. You promised to give me whatever I wanted when we first got together, remember? I took that promise literally, and then I fell out of your favors due to my lies, my cheating, my silent treatments, and more.

I am a hedonist - a pleasure seeker. I break the law as the day is long. It is my right to do so as I have a sense of entitlement of epic proportions. I will get away with it the way I learned to get away with everything as a child. I was taught by the best, after all. My parents were narcissists, too. I will laugh all the while.

You will be attracted to the mysteriousness of me. I am the man who tells you a little, but withholds a lot. You might wonder why it is that I don’t talk about myself all of the time. You may wonder why I don’t drone on and on about myself. There is a reason for this, but it is not what you expect.

I remain mysterious because my behavior is largely unaccepted by society. I know that my behavior will be unacceptable to you; the behavior that I commit to behind closed doors. You will eventually find out about some of my dirty little habits. I will continuously tell you that I will stop the behavior, but you and I both know that this is a lie. I don’t care to stop.