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  • How to Know a Person

  • The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
  • By: David Brooks
  • Narrated by: David Brooks
  • Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (27 ratings)

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How to Know a Person

By: David Brooks
Narrated by: David Brooks
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Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives - from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

If you are going to care for someone, you must first understand them. If you're going to hire, marry, or befriend someone, you have to be able to see them. If you are going to work closely with someone, you have to be able to make them feel recognized and valued. As David Brooks observes, "The older I get, the more I come to the certainty that there is one skill at the center of any healthy family, company, classroom, community or nation: the ability to see each other, to know other people, to make them feel valued, heard and understood."

And yet we humans don't do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us to do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us. If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person's story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience, and from the worlds of theatre, history, and education, to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps listeners become more understanding and considerate towards others; it helps listeners find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is a profoundly creative act: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, seeking to understand and yearning to be understood.

©2023 David Brooks (P)2023 Penguin Audio

What listeners say about How to Know a Person

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A good handbook for getting to know anyone

This is a great book for developing your skills for getting to know people, in all parts of your life. The book weaves stories and personal experience with discussion of ways of developing those skills. If you only take away two or three things from this book, you will be ahead of the curve.

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Lots of aha moments 🌟

Excellent book from start to finish finish!
Well researched and written.
Sad moments and joyful ones too

Rather than be academic, Brooks brings us many stories of lived experiences of everyday people.

These make great case studies and are inspiring

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Insightful

Provides:
1. a personal and analytical view on how to approach knowing others and yourself.
2. excellent advice the importance of asking a good question and listening. A simple simple rule of good conversation that nearly everyone tends to forget on our haste to tell others about ourselves.
3. a deeply personal view on human connection - the storey of the class coming back from the year before brought tears when I retold it to my partner who is a University lecturer running similar classes and we both understood the value of each other's accompaniment.

I've recently started employing some of the lessons that David has embedded in the book and you may ask:

So what happened then...?

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valuble content

While I have read and listened to several relational-enriching books - David Brooks with his wit and interesting true life stories has raised my awareness further. I have ordered the physical book and expect to enjoy it all again. ... multiple times.

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Really perceptive and practically useful

A summary of the key lessons would be useful at the end as a reminder. So much is covered.

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Such a stunning book

I am a psychiatric nurse and have absolutely loved this book - seeing other people and building rapport is my bread and butter. This book is perhaps the best of its kind I have ever come across and I keep listening to it to cement the things I am already doing well and inspire me in the ways I haven’t mastered yet. It’s a beautiful philosophy and it works. Best book of 2023 for me.

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Leaning to ask respectfully question

To lean about other people by asking respectful question. I encourage everyone to take their time to ask questions about their own life.

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