Diddly Squat cover art

Diddly Squat

A Year on the Farm

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Diddly Squat

By: Jeremy Clarkson
Narrated by: Jeremy Clarkson
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea of being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else.

Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.

After all, how hard could it be?

Well...

Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.

Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the tractor driver, cheerful Charlie, Ellen the shepherd and Gerald, his head of security and dry stone waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.

And yet, while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence....

©2021 Jeremy Clarkson (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Comedy & Humour Entertainment & Celebrities Celebrity Funny Witty

Critic Reviews

"The best thing Clarkson's done...it pains me to say this." (Guardian)

"Shockingly hopeful." (Independent)

"Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here." (Telegraph)

What listeners say about Diddly Squat

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Beat book ever

If you want a good story and great laugh the this is the book for you! While you’re at it , watch his tv show as well! It’s fantastic too! Thoroughly loved it!! Xx

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Love the column written stylings

A well written Clarkson classic with typical tangents and comparisons. A humorous insight to a beginner’s view on a new field of learning. Loved every minute of it and wish there were more.

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Jezza brings Diddly Squat to your ears

Each chapter is a stand alone article, bringing Clarkson’s witticisms, analogy’s and journey in farming. If you love the show you’ll love the book.

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    3 out of 5 stars

Needs more content.

Needed more content, if you have watched the series it is just a verbal cut down rehash.
In saying that if Jeremy read me anything I'd happily listen to it.

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2 people found this helpful

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The excellent.

Enjoyed this immensely, have listened to this twice and will listen to this again Clarkson is an excellent narrator just wish it went for longer.

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Do more!

Absolutely loved every minute and I hope Jeremy Clarkson records more of his books… listening to his inimitable voice makes them even more enjoyable

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Great listen, Clarkson is the best

Watched the show, listened to the book and will do all over again no doubt.

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absolute delight

Thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book. Funny and informative. I have also bought the hardback version.

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good listen

Good listen, similar stories to the series but good all the same and some interesting farming ideas from Jeremy

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entertaining background prattle. Hit the spot

word word word word word word word word word it it it it it it thanks unique stuff and all of that jazzy jazz

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