Of everything that goes into making your wedding day special, it is the ceremony that you can take some control over and that you can ensure the guests remember most.

The wedding ceremony, whenever possible, should be an outward expression of feelings of love you and your fiancé have for one another. Can there be any greater opportunity than to assist your chosen wedding officiant in expressing your spiritual feelings and love in your wedding ceremony?

It all begins with an assumption that no matter what faith you and your fiancé individually or together follow, regardless of your families’ religious traditions - Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, other faith, or no particular organized faith. You have been blessed with the gift of love. The desire to commit for life should override any other consideration including different faiths, different cultures, previous marriage, or bringing children into the marriage. Nothing should get in the way of you having the wedding ceremony of your dreams. You can make it a special moment to be remembered for a lifetime!

What about prerequisites or problems that might impact whether someone feels or thinks you are “fit” for marriage? Unless they are a clergyman or counseling professional who has specific intimate knowledge of you and your fiancé that would preclude them from officiating your marriage, they should commit to observing only what is required by local, state, and federal laws. If your wedding officiant is focused more on their desires than yours - find someone else to officiate for you!

As a bride or groom, you are in a position to eliminate the roadblocks that others will place in your way. What you will find after your initial meetings with the officiant is that they may or may not be a major source of relief and comfort to you.

When the wedding officiant is focused on you, your needs, desires, and concerns, when they discover that you expect them to remove roadblocks, they will either step up to the plate and serve you or back away and if they do back away, they are doing you a favor. Look, you are in love, and to them, nothing else should matter - and you as their client can show them how true that is.

Here are a few issues and questions that wedding officiants can and should resolve for you:

• Your families are of different religions or you are just spiritual, how do you create a wedding ceremony that will please the families and still honor your feelings?
• You are Catholic but because of divorce, you cannot get married in the Parish. Can you have a Catholic-style ceremony and have a wedding that your parents will appreciate and be comfortable with?
• You want a traditional ceremony but the location is nontraditional. What can you do to make this wedding perfect, even if it’s in a hotel conference room?
• Can you have just a short spiritual ceremony but provide all the elements that our guests will expect?
• You have children that one or both of you are bringing into the marriage. How do you include them in the ceremony?
• Can you get married now quietly for personal purposes and have the ceremony for your family later? How do you do that? Who do you contact?
• How can you make your wedding ceremony as Catholic as possible?
• How do you combine different nontraditional actions, such as: Coins, veil, and cording, breaking of the glass, jumping the broom, salt and bread, honey and dates, ddrinking a cup of wine, table ceremonies, and more.