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A Well-Trained Wife

My Escape from Christian Patriarchy

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A Well-Trained Wife

By: Tia Levings
Narrated by: Tia Levings
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About this listen

This gripping audiobook is a strong choice alongside books about high-demand religion, overcoming odds, and finding inner strength in impossible situations."—Booklist (Starred Review)

This program is read by the author.

“Today it hit me when he hit me, blood shaking in my brain. Maybe there wasn’t a savior coming. Maybe it was up to me to save me.”

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.”

Tia knew that to their neighbors her family was strange, but she also couldn't risk exposing their secret lifestyle to police, doctors, teachers, or anyone outside of their church. Christians were called in scripture to be “in the world, not of it.” So, she hid in plain sight as years of abuse and pain followed. When Tia realized she was the only one who could protect her children from becoming the next generation of patriarchal men and submissive women, she began to resist and question how they lived. But in the patriarchy, a woman with opinions is in danger, and eventually, Tia faced an urgent and extreme choice: stay and face dire consequences, or flee with her children.

Told in a beautiful, honest, and sometimes harrowing voice, A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable and timely memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.

A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin’s Press.

©2024 Tia Levings (P)2024 Macmillan Audio
Editors Select Religious Studies Women

Editorial Review

As personal as it gets
I devoured this deeply intimate, harrowing memoir over the course of three days, resenting any interruption that forced me to hit pause. With unfiltered detail and raw emotion, Tia Levings tells her story of growing up in a fundamentalist religion, how her upbringing ushered her into a high-control, patriarchal marriage, and her journey toward reclaiming her identity and voice. Throughout, Levings writes of her passion for art and writing (an inclination that women in her position must stifle) and how finding an outlet in the earliest days of parenting blogging and online forums both scratched that itch and broadened her world. That nurturing of her talent shows in the strength of her voice, both in her written words and in her wholehearted performance. It is not only gripping, but deeply introspective and observant – a daring call-to-action.— Sam D., Audible Editor

Critic Reviews

“In this brave memoir on domestic violence within Christian patriarchy, Tia Levings vulnerably shares her story of survival. With devastating detail, she reveals the many shades of abuse that happen within the world of evangelicalism, a world that was supposed to protect her. The many women who have walked this path from oppression to freedom will find solidarity in these pages.”—Cait West, author of Rift

"I've never given a book a standing ovation until this one. A Well-Trained Wife is a prayer, for all of us. The world is lucky Tia Levings found her freedom and her voice. A reckoning for those who sanction abuse in the name of salvation."—Ashleigh Renard, author of Swing

"With unflinching honesty and relentless self-reflection, Levings’ debut memoir is a portrait in courage."—Julie Bogart, author of The Brave Learner and Raising Critical Thinkers

What listeners say about A Well-Trained Wife

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Both beautiful and chilling: A must read

In this brilliant memoir, Levings skillfully unfolds a complex tapestry that slowly builds up over decades. As she has said in interviews when reflecting on her experiences of abuse and 'marital captivity': the temperature of the water turns up slowly. In Levings' case, her enculturation into the Christian patriarchy started in childhood and while individual steps along the way, if taken out of context, might read as harmless or benign, collectively they worked to isolate, marginalise, and render Tia (like so many women) utterly vulnerable to abuse. That Levings managed to inch her way (psychologically and physically) out of this web is astonishing. Everyone should read this book. It is not only pertinent to the context of the US or the extremes of Christian patriarchy, but to SO MANY contemporary contexts. It is not only a cautionary tale but a searing and important commentary on many contemporary societies worldwide where women's and minoritised rights are routinely being destabilised. I absolutely loved this book and take my hat off to Tia Levings.

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Horrifying, heartbreaking & inspiring. A must read.

An incredible story of power, trauma and resilience, and the true meaning of love. I feel changed after this book.

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Riveting and powerful read

I first came across Tia’s story from a podcast interview she did on Mamamia. Her story is incredibly powerful and delves into the dark side of Christianity - where religion is used to control women and perpetuate a harmful culture of patriarchy. Her narration brought the realness of her story to a whole new level and I thoroughly binged the audiobook within a matter of days. This is a great book for anyone, religious or not.

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Best book ever!

Tia I’m sorry for it all!! I am a similar age to you and was given some of the books you talked about. How far can Christian’s stray from LOVE,
Sending you love as you move forward.
This is a must read , you just can’t stop listening!!!

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Truthfully told

Can’t recommend this book enough. Heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time
Thank you for sharing

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Beautifully written

Tia’s story is extraordinary.
Told by Tia in a beautiful gentle tone.
Recommend to all.

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