The Hannelack Fanny: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Rump cover art

The Hannelack Fanny: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Rump

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The Hannelack Fanny: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Rump

By: Lori Schafer
Narrated by: Karin Allers
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About this listen

One weekend a few months after my glorious ass-awakening, John and I went on a road trip. I'd leaned over sideways and lifted my skirt up over my hips so that he could rest his hand on my ass while he was driving. Sunshine was streaming through the open sunroof and my butt felt warm in spite of its near-nakedness. How I relished that sensation now!

Suddenly a truck horn sounded.

"Hey!" I heard a man yell. "Hey, wide load!"

A year before, I would have been mortified. Not anymore.

I turned to look. A semi was travelling beside us. The man in the passenger seat was staring at my bared ass. The driver was leaning over, trying to get a look.

"Like what you see, boys?" I yelled back, jerking my body in my seat to set my rump to rippling.

"WOOOO-EEEE! Shake that ass, mama!"

In that moment, something possessed me. It was as if the beast that had so long been bolted to my bottom had finally broken free of its cage. It wanted out. All the way out.

I unhooked my seatbelt and jumped up on my seat. With effort I wriggled my way through the open sunroof, ass and all. And then I wiggled out of my panties, lifted up my skirt, and showed myself to the world. Every last wobbling inch of me.

"Look at my ass!" I yelled, slapping it hard with my palm. "Look at my ass!"

I was bouncing, jumping up and down in place, and my ass, behemoth that it was, was bouncing, too, the fat landing on the warm roof of the car and then retreating back up to my waist in happy rhythm while I pointed and laughed.

"Look at my ass!"

A young woman's life is changed forever when she discovers what everyone around her has known all along: that a renowned family characteristic has re-emerged in a most unfortunate location - her own backside.

©2015 Lori Schafer (P)2015 Lori Schafer
Literature & Fiction Transportation

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.